Aug 31 2014
I've had sex before, but rarely was it ever a good experience; I mostly felt obligated to for my partner. I'm demi, but after everything and an ex harassing me for so long before I ever had sex with him, I'm pretty sex-repulsed. I feel dirty for compromising myself, and it just makes me really upset. I didn't know asexuality was a thing when I was with my ex, I just felt broken and that I had to make up for it somehow.
What you’ve described is unfortunately a common experience for many aces. They go through with that they feel is an obligation and feel awful about it. The good thing is that you now know that you are NOT broken, there’s a word for your identity, which is totally valid, and there are dozens of people in the community you can go to for support. It is totally okay to be sex repulsed and going forward, you can use this knowledge about yourself to build a healthy identity. I have an ace blogger, cranavencrow, who would be willing to talk to you about your experiences.